9 Realizations After 10-Years Of Marriage To My High School Sweetheart

I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for over 10-years. We started dating at the age of 17 in high school chemistry class. We’re now 30 years old with 3 boys. I vividly remember our high school senior dinner where we were voted “most likely to be married for 50 years.” This is the future we dreamed of and it’s the future we’ve created for ourselves. So, what’s it like marrying your high school sweetheart?

It’s been nothing short of amazing. We became adults and learned how to win at life together. Each path we’ve walked, we’ve walked it together. The key to success for our marriage has been our ability to communicate clearly and that we’re simply all-in on our life together. If you’re all in on anything, be all-in on your marriage.

About us

a picture of my wife and i at our high school prom.

a picture of my wife and i at our high school prom.

Kayla and I went to school together since 2nd grade. We attended the same middle school and high school. We started dating in high school chemistry class in the 10th grade, had one short-lived breakup, and have been together ever since.

We were married in 2010, I joined the Air Force and since then our life has been in fast forward.

Since then we’ve:

  • Had 3 kids at (21-, 25-, 27-years old)

  • Spent 5 years in the Air Force

  • Earned 5 degrees combined (two master’s) with no student loan debt

  • Moved from Washington to Kansas, Kansas to Washington, and Washington to Texas

  • Bought two houses

  • Have achieved CoastFIRE on our path to financial independence.

9 realizations after a decade of marriage to my high school sweetheart

It’s been a deeply rewarding experience to marry my high school girlfriend and I’m sure she says the same thing about me. My excuse is that the male brain isn’t even fully developed until the early ’20s and there’s no doubt that women mature at a faster rate than men. Needless to say, after 10-years of marriage and many life transitions later, I wouldn’t change a thing.

A picture of my wife and i at a baseball game.

A picture of my wife and i at a baseball game.

  1. We grew into adults together

    Because we got married so young, we didn’t have to break bad habits that were developed by living as a single adult, and we didn’t have to compromise on a lot simply because we learned everything together.

    This isn’t to say that getting married young is easy, it can be extremely difficult, but looking back on it, it’s been nothing short of amazing.

  2. It’s like having two sets of parents

    We were so young when we started dating at 17 that her parents are like parents to me and my parents are like another set of parents for her. They were still raising us while we were dating and that’s crazy to think about now that I have kids of my own.

    It’s true that you marry into the family and I’m thankful that it’s the case. My brother-in-law was just 12 when I started dating his sister. He’s now in his mid 20’s starting a family of his own.

  3. We literally know everything about each other

    When you grow into adulthood with another person, you can’t help but know everything about that person. Their needs, wants, fears, etc. We’ve seen each other at our absolute worse and our absolute best. There was so much that we didn’t know early on in our marriage that we learned and formed opinions about together.

  4. We’ve defied the statistically high divorce rate among high school sweethearts

    We were all in. Each time we were told we’re too young, or too immature to get married, we took it as a challenge. It further fueled our desire to prove everyone wrong.

    “Divorce rates for those within the first ten years of marriage for a high school sweetheart were at 54 percent and were much higher than the average American couple at 32 percent” (source).

    It’s no secret that many marriages end in divorce. Making such a major life decision prior to fully understanding how the world works is a recipe for strife. Statistically, our marriage shouldn’t have survived, but it has and for that, I’m glad.

  5. We’re from the same background, same hometown, etc.

    We’ve gone to the same school since 2nd grade. We went to the same middle school and high school and had many of the same friends. Our families were VERY different, but we have so many environmental commonalities in relation to where we’re from. It’s really nice having the same hometown when it comes to visiting, holidays, etc.

  6. It’s extremely satisfying to look back on our journey

    Many of our best memories are together and it’s really awesome to be able to share these moments in time with each other. We’ve been through so much as a couple, faced and conquered so many challenges, it’s truly gratifying to sit back and contemplate.

    It feels like we’ve invested in something valuable and to see our kids as the result of all of our love, effort, and energy is truly amazing. This family will be the greatest achievement of my life and I’m so happy about that.

  7. We’re terrible at giving dating advice

    Finding your soul mate in high school is like winning the lottery. Neither of us has ever dated as an adult. Crazy right? We joke often about how terrible we would be on the dating scene. You should not ask couples that have been married for 10+ years about dating. Relationship advice? Sure! Dating? Not a chance.

  8. It’s common to have FOMO in your 20’s

    Being married through your early 20’s can be a challenge. All of our old friends were living a free-spirited life in their 20’s. Traveling, partying, going away to school, etc. We were loaded with responsibility, married with a kid, and in the military at 21 years old. Neither way of living is better than the other, but it’s common for both sides of that story to wonder what they’re missing out on. For us, it’s been important to always have fun, go on adventures, and constantly make new memories.

  9. We’re setting a great example for our kids

    Being a positive role model for our kids is extremely important to both of us. Kayla and I believe in marriage and what it stands for. We want our boys to grow up in a stable, supportive, kind household. The BEST way to influence your children is by leading by example. My boys are going to learn how to treat women by how they see me interacting with their mom.

    We want our kids to understand that marriage is something to be taken seriously and it can be such a blessing to the family when both people are truly working every day to be the best they can for one another.

ourfamily.jpeg
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